Hello!

Hi everyone. I'm Emily, and ever since I was little I seemed overweight, or at least I felt very uncomfortable about it (I was always really shy, and still am kinda). Apparently I have actually been a tad bit over the "healthy weight" mark ever since I was 7. What's more embarrassing than having a doctor tell you THAT? Yeah, I guess peeing in a cup....but ANYWAYSSSSS, this is a little blog I'll be doing to...sort of keep track of everything that goes on in the process of losing weight. So, to begin I should just say I have no idea how tall I am. Probably like 4'11 or 5'.Idk. But my heaviest weight was 116lbs, which is where I am now. Once I made it all the way to 101lbs and was SOSO happy because I haven't been under 100lbs in a while and I was only 2 lbs away!But then I was seduced by the evil unhealthy foods. And I basically gave up. AND I ATE LIKE A PIG. ugh. I actually find it easier to lose weight during school instead of summer break. Manly because you only have one chance to eat, and that's lunch. I usually threw my lunch away or ate very little when I was going down to 101lbs. I didn't drink very much either. Mostly because having to leave class to pee is like a CRIME at my school.
Starving myself? I've tried. Didn't last one day.:\ Purging? Tried too. And guess what? NEVER AGAIN. So that leaves me with only one choice: extreme dieting and exercising. Too bad it's so f****ing hard, at least for us lazy girls it is...
I REFUSE to give up this time. This means I need lots of THINSPIRATION.
It may seem stupid, I mean, drooling at pictures of anorexic or very thin girls , but it really helps me continue and not give up. Maybe I don't want to be THAT skinny, but knowing I'll be close if I don't give up keeps me motivated. But sometimes I watch those ... anti thinspo or whatever they call them. The ones where they show obese people? Yeah those. Me and them have a love/hate relationship. I like them because the boost my confidence and make me feel less fat. It's like "I guess I'm not THAT overweight compared to them!". But then, I start to think "If I keep eating the way I'm eating...I WILL look like this D: "
But all in all, they're motivating. OH! I just realized I did not mention my weight goal. I'd say about...80lbs. Kay? Kay.
And now, I must end this post, for I cannot think of anything else to say.
Good bye, until the next post.
xoxo